A compilation of one-liners from the era. No credit is taken, just the hope that other Marine Tankers will appreciate the humor.
- Once you are in the fight, it is way too late to wonder if this is a good idea.
- The Tanker’s “Principle of War” is not to die for your country, it is to make the enemy S.O.B die for his country.
- Tanks are cool!
- It is a fact that Tank tracks are instinctively drawn toward mines, deep mud, etc. While it may be possible to ward off this natural event some of the time, it cannot, despite the best efforts of the crew, always be prevented. It’s just what they do.
- NEVER get into a fight without more ammunition than the other guy.
- Combat Golden Rule: check headspace and timing BEFORE the fight.
- Tank radios will fail when receiving a “no fire” order from H. Q.
- A billfold in your hip pocket can numb your leg and be a real pain in the ass.
- Cover your Buddy, so he can be around to cover for you.
- Letters from home are not always great.
- The madness of war can extract a heavy toll. Please have exact change.
- Share everything. Yes, even the Pound Cake.
- Decisions made by someone over your head will seldom be in your best interest.
- The further away you are from your friends, the less likely it is that they can help you when you really need them the most.
- Sometimes, being good and lucky still was not enough.
- There is always payback.
- “Chicken Plates” (protective body armor) are not something you order in a restaurant.
- If everything is as clear as a bell, and everything is going exactly as planned, you’re about to be surprised.
- The BSR (Bang Stare Red) Theory states that the louder the sudden bang in the tank, the quicker your eyes will be drawn to the gauges. The longer you stare at the gauges, the less time it takes them to move from green to red.
- It does to get cold in Vietnam.
- No matter what you do, the bullet with your name on it will get you. So too can the ones addressed “To Whom It May Concern”.
- If the rear echelon troops are really happy, the front line troops probably do not have what they need.
- If you are wearing body armor, they will probably miss that part.
- It hurts less to die with a uniform on, than to die in a hospital bed.
- Happiness is a tank main gun.
- If something hasn’t broken on your tank, it’s about to.
- Eat when you can. Sleep when you can. Shit when you can. The next opportunity may not come around for a long time. If ever.
- Combat pay is a flawed concept.
- Having all your body parts intact and functioning at the end of the day beats the alternative.
- Tank superiority is NOT a luxury
- If you are allergic to lead, it is best to avoid a war zone.
- It is a bad thing to run out of fuel, ammo and ideas all at the same time.
- When you shoot your gun, clean it the first chance you get.
- Loud sudden noises in a tank WILL get your undivided attention.
- Hot garrison chow is better than hot C-rations, which, in turn are better than cold
- C- rations, which are better than no food at all. All of these, however, are preferable to cold rice balls even if they do have the little pieces of fish in them.
- WHAT is often more important than WHY?
- If you grab the S. O. B.s by the balls, their hearts and minds are bound to follow.
- Boxes of cookies from home must be shared.
- Girlfriends are fair game. Wives are not.
- Everybody’s a hero … on the ground … in the club … after the fourth drink.
- There is no such thing as a small fire fight.
- A free fire zone has nothing to do with economics.
- The further you drive into Indian country, the louder the strange engine noises become.
- You can try, but you cannot drive a tank through a 1,000 LB bomb crater.
- Medals are OK, but having your body and all your friends in one piece at the end of the day is better.
- Being shot hurts.
- “Pucker Factor” is the formal name of the equation that states the more hairy the situation is, the more of the seat cushion will be sucked up your asshole. It can be expressed in its mathematical formula of S (suction) + H (hull exposure from defilade) + I (interest in staying alive) + T ( the # of RPGs coming your way). Thus the term ‘SHIT!’ can also be used to denote a situation where a high Pucker Factor is being encountered.
- Thousands of Vietnam Veterans earned medals for bravery every day. A few were even awarded.
- Nomex is NOT fire proof.
- There is only one rule in war: When you win, you get to make up the rules.
- Living and dying can both hurt a lot.
- Do not wear underwear. It can cause crotch rot or be used as evidence against you.
- While a Super Sabot could be considered one of the four essential building blocks of life, powdered eggs cannot.
- C-4 can make a dull day fun.
- Cocoa Powder is neither.
- There is no such thing as a fair fight-only ones where you win or lose.
- If you win the battle you are entitled to the spoils. If you lose you don’t care.
- Nobody cares what you did yesterday or what you are going to do tomorrow.
- What is important is what you are doing NOW to solve our problem.
- If you have extra-share quickly.
- It’s OK to take stuff off the body of a buddy, ’cause you know he would have wanted you to have it anyway.
- Always make sure someone has a P-38.
- A sucking chest wound may be God’s way of telling you it’s time to go home.
- Prayer may not help … but it can’t hurt.
- Riding a tank is better than walking. Walking is better than running. Running is better than crawling. All of these however, are better than extraction by a Med-Evac.
- If everyone does not come home, none of the rest of us can ever fully come home either.
- Do not fear the enemy, for your enemy can only take your life. It is far better that you fear the media, for they will steal your HONOR.
- A grunt is the true reason for the existence of the tank. Every tank in Vietnam had one real purpose: To help the grunt. It is unfortunate that many tanks never had the opportunity to fulfill their one true mission in life, simply because someone forgot this fact.
- “You have the right to remain silent,” is always EXCELLENT advice.
If you have not been there and done that … you probably will not understand most of these.
Never forget!!!
Semper Fi,
Gerry Brodeur